Question:
I was wondering if anyone has had any experiences (good/bad/indifferent) with live support groups for people dealing with MPD/DID? If so, could you relay your experiences here? I am
I was in a ‘general’ t’py group so I can’t talk about groups specifically for/with multiples. The group I was in was very supportive but too general. It was supposed to be for survivors to talk about their childhood abuse but none of us would and the leader wasn’t directive enough to get us to do so. Although one or two other people dissociated in that group, I was the only multiple. interested because I think I would like to participate in one. Is anyone familiar with any good therapists, support groups, hospitals, whatever in CT? I have the ‘I’m not getting anywhere in therapy’ blues. When I relayed the blues to my doctor he simply said that he didn’t think I could find anyone else that I could trust. Yuk, that nasty word "trust". I am not getting anywhere in therapy,
I hope he didn’t mean what it sounds like he said!! If he really meant ‘you have to stay with me because I’m the only one who can help you’ you need to seriously consider if this person is healthy. Now, if he meant ‘you are not going to trust anyone else any more than you trust me, so if that is why you want to leave you might be in for a disappointment’ I’d agree with him. My t’pist has stopped talking about the word ‘trust’; he now talks about ‘enough trust’. He admits I may _never_ trust him, but if I trust him ‘enough’ we can work together. He also talks about ’safe enough’ as in, ‘what can I do to make this safe enough for you to do the work?’ because he and I know that the idea of safe is pretty much beyond me right now. and I don’t know what it is that I am doing wrong. He says that I need to talk about the flashbacks and stuff. And I do. But he says that I have to talk about them over and over. It doesn’t
He might be using a technique that is abit outdated. Do you know if he is getting regular education and information on what is happening with this field? My t’pist regularly talks to me about the latest techniques and seminars he’s been to. Usually we decide collectively to stick to the way we’ve been doing it, but every so often we find a new idea that we try out. It used to be thought that it was necessary to go through the traumatic event over and over to ‘desenitize’ the client to that event. There are now techniques that work very well that don’t do that. This isn’t necessary for everyone. In fact, it can be damaging for some clients. You might want to talk to him about this or check out some of the literature to think about this some more. More than anything, you are _not_ doing anything wrong!!!!!!! I firmly believe that if the client is trying and working and motivated and ’stuck’ it is because the technique isn’t working. It isn’t the client’s responsibility to modify how you heal to fit the model,it’s the model’s responsibility to be flexible enough to modify to fit how the client heals. I work with kids with learning disabilities. I never think ‘Johnny isn’t able to learn math because he doesn’t know how to’ I think ‘math is too limited because it isn’t able to be understood by Johnny. How can I modify the approach so he can understand it?’ I have a knack for teaching long division, btw. 
change anything though. He doesn’t talk to the others in sessions….I can’t seem to click off. So, they’re never dealt with. Things are brought up one week and forgotten the next. I don’t
This happens to me too. 
For whatever reason I am ‘unable’ to get out of the way of the others and let him talk to them. My last t’pist was able to though. We work around this by having me act as liaison and just pass things on. Of course it helps that my t’pist is willing to do this. As for forgetting things from session to session yep me too. What I do is write down what it is and either mail it to him right away or put it in my car so it’s there when I go to the next session. Of course this is still a problem because I still forget what it was I wanted to talk about and it’s really hard to reconstruct it from the letter (the feelings or whatever that is). understand this process. I don’t get what is wrong with me. I go home with the thought that I’ll focus on something which was said during the session only to find that the next day I can’t remember
I don’t understand the process either and I’m a t’pist There is something about dissociation that blocks my ability to see what is happening with my system, even though I can see it with others. There isn’t anything wrong with you because of this!!!!! ANYTHING that was said. I am beginning to think this is futile. I am beginning to feel like an idiot. I am beginning to think that maybe I won’t ever be like I used to be. I don’t have any more answers on how to deal with my diagnoses. Thanks for Listening
Well, if this is the criteria for idiot than most of us here are idiots I have all the same problems you are talking about. THis is just part of the dissociation. What matters is that over time I can look back and find things that have changed or improved. I have an overall sense that I am going forward even though I often have times when I feel like I’ve either stuck or wandering around in circles. As for being like you used to be. I gave up on this one awhile ago. It’s impossible and probably not as desirable as we would like to think. For example, in order to be like I used to be I would have to be more actively su*c*dal, lose time daily, have no feelings (well ok, this might still be a good idea!:), be almost completely unconnected from others on the outside, and be convinced that I am psychotic. Sure, I would also function on three hours of sleep a night, go to the health club every day, work fifty to sixty hours a week, be in two graduate programs at once, and be active in two major hobbies, as well as have high blood pressure, have serious physical problems with my shoulders, neck and back, and not notice if I have hurt the body because I can’t feel pain. I can’t have just some of these without all of them right now. What is supposed to happen (I’m taking this on fa*th from my t’pists right now:) is that eventually all the positives I listed above will come back and all the negatives won’t. I’ll also develop new positives. I’ll let you know if/when this ever happens. Rainbow Colors (Jill, who doesn’t mind the wandering in circles but doesn’t really like the feeling of beating her head against the wall:) — I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.
Response:
I was wondering if anyone has had any experiences (good/bad/indifferent) with live support groups for people dealing with MPD/DID? If so, could you relay your experiences here? I am interested because I think I would like to participate in one. Is anyone familiar with any good therapists, support groups, hospitals, whatever in CT? I have the ‘I’m not getting anywhere in therapy’ blues. When I relayed the blues to my doctor he simply said that he didn’t think I could find anyone else that I could trust. Yuk, that nasty word "trust". I am not getting anywhere in therapy, and I don’t know what it is that I am doing wrong. He says that I need to talk about the flashbacks and stuff. And I do. But he says that I have to talk about them over and over. It doesn’t change anything though. He doesn’t talk to the others in sessions….I can’t seem to click off. So, they’re never dealt with. Things are brought up one week and forgotten the next. I don’t understand this process. I don’t get what is wrong with me. I go home with the thought that I’ll focus on something which was said during the session only to find that the next day I can’t remember ANYTHING that was said. I am beginning to think this is futile. I am beginning to feel like an idiot. I am beginning to think that maybe I won’t ever be like I used to be. I don’t have any more answers on how to deal with my diagnoses. Thanks for Listening
Response:
I do not have much to offer because I wondered the same thing myself. In my journey of questioning support groups vs no support groups I can to the thought that 2 people in the group and it would be too crowded. Hee Hee But seriously, I have inquired about it but the nearest group to me was over an hour from my house. Too far for me. Petre:)
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