Question:
Got back from my session about an hour ago and i’m still crying. I cried the whole time i was there, cried all the way home (2 hr trip – yuck) and even now. I know it has to eventually stop. I’m tired, cold, shakey and down right fed up. I had alot to tell my t’pst, only got a portion of it said, but the most import was discussed. I felt she understood. I do like her style, i feel pretty bl*ssed to finally have a t’pst that knows whats going on. She wants me to double up on sessions for a while. Not that i’m resistant to that but i h*te the financial burden. I resent having to pay to fix a problem that was ultimately caused by my p*rents and their so called friends. I’m tired of always paying the price be it physically, sp*rit*ally, emotionally and financially. Just down right sick of it. Wish i could make the p*rps pay for all the pyschological repairs. Well anyway, i will be going twice as often. I know its the right thing to do now in this time of my tx. It always takes me so long to get myself together after a session. so if i’m doing twice as many how will i be functional to work so i can make money to support myself and the therapy. Between a rock and a hard place. Cuz if i dont go to therapy then i’m not functional at all, i go so much i’m not very functional either.. ! SierraDevn * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "no one has the power to own another human" Lionheart
Response:
we remember when we were trying to get our therp to see us more than once a week, and she wouldn’t. 
tha twas teh beginning of the end for that therp and us. we have a different therp now, and she occasionally suggests extra sessions. we are glad when she does, and she listens to us if we ask for more, which is also good. it has a huge impact on how functional we are there is no doubt about that this past year has been a lot harder than the previous 5 and we need the extra time. we always schedule our sessions at the end of th eday no use trying to work afterwards and no use having sessions at the beginning of the day yet we know it helps somehow in the long run digging up all that and hashing through it even for the zillionth time seeing the old messages we are still responding to even though we try not to and learning how to counter them practicing countering them in teh real world it ain’t easy!! but it is helpful and healing no, it isn’t fair nothing about this is fair we don’t think anythign will be its a sorry statement about the world, but we’ve come to believe it but that does not mean that there aren’t good things in teh world at least here we have ppl who understand and listen and care some therps will help out with the fincancial end of things ours has a sliding scale she gives us a low rate because she knows that we are trying to help out our little sisters and she thinks that is a good thing for us to do 
writing used to help us a lot when we were hurting and crying so much we’d write the thought sout just astream of conciousness anyone in here who wanted to say something andything that came out was ok its interesting for us to go back and read some of what we wrote we learn a lot from it and it calmed us down at the time we also do a lot of relaxation and "soft talking" routines we’ve been doing that mostly on our own for along time it can be helpful tho sometimes when we need it most we can’t concentrate enough to do it!!! that is frustrating so we’ve learned a zillions little things to do pictures to have on teh walls where we’ll see themn that we can focus on and that make us feel better letters from ppl saying nice things about us that we can see just up on teh wall a reminder even when we aren’t looking for it and when all else fails we can curl up with a stuffie on teh bed and one of the cats will come over we hope you find something that works for you. "ghyie" mostly Lady and Whisper
: Got back from my session about an hour ago and i’m still crying. I cried the : whole time i was there, cried all the way home (2 hr trip – yuck) and even now. : I know it has to eventually stop. I’m tired, cold, shakey and down right fed : up. : I had alot to tell my t’pst, only got a portion of it said, but the most import : was discussed. I felt she understood. I do like her style, i feel pretty : bl*ssed to finally have a t’pst that knows whats going on. She wants me to : double up on sessions for a while. Not that i’m resistant to that but i h*te : the financial burden. I resent having to pay to fix a problem that was : ultimately caused by my p*rents and their so called friends. I’m tired of : always paying the price be it physically, sp*rit*ally, emotionally and : financially. Just down right sick of it. Wish i could make the p*rps pay for : all the pyschological repairs. Well anyway, i will be going twice as often. I : know its the right thing to do now in this time of my tx. : It always takes me so long to get myself together after a session. so if i’m : doing twice as many how will i be functional to work so i can make money to : support myself and the therapy. Between a rock and a hard place. Cuz if i dont : go to therapy then i’m not functional at all, i go so much i’m not very : functional either.. ! : SierraDevn : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * : "no one has the power to own another human" : Lionheart
Response:
Have you ever tried double or triple sessions on one day? This can help some people when there’s a need for more intense therapy, and the T is too far away for more than one trip a week to be convenient or when therapy stirs up so much that it makes it hard to set aside the time more than once a week. I currently go one time a week for 2 and a half hours (3 back to back 50 minute sessions), right after work, and this works much better for me than going more than one time each week. Different things work for different people- just wanted to make this suggestion, wondering whether it’s worked for others. I hope that whatever you decide works out for you- I’m happy for you that you have a good T, and hope things get better. -Nancy
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi SierraDevn, It does sound like you are having a really tough time right now. Still, I’m envious because my t canceled on account of the snowstorm. I’m feeling sad– it’ll be three whole weeks between visits if it doesn’t snow next Saturday. She offers a phone session, but talking to a telephone just isn’t the same. We are in VA and WV. These semi-southern states do not handle the bad weather like northern states where I grew up. States don’t budget enough for snow removal and drivers don’t know how to handle slippery roads. Also, too many hills. When I was in crisis, my t would suggest extra sessions. I tried it a couple times, but it didn’t seem helpful enough to budget twice as much money for it in one month. Like you, I sometimes need the rest of a therapy day to process what has been going on. I prefer to see my t on Friday or Saturday for that reason. It can make the work week a lot tougher if therapy keeps things more stirred up. Please take good care of yourself. I hope andregide and any others who have been triggered here are also practicing good self care. You are all such dear, caring, life-affirming people. I wish you were all a part of my family. The one I had didn’t care about me. They threw me away because I was too "crazy" for them. Better to be crazy and true to oneself, than abandon oneself and be nothing at all. I truly believe it will be better tomorrow. Waves to those who will be up all night, I gotta get some sleep. Have to go to court on behalf of a child on Monday. Feeling pretty scared about that. It will be my first time, probably not my last. I know my stuff, but worry about dissociation under pressure. Will be taking one or more Ativan beforehand. I used to worry that they would put me to sleep, but it turns out that sleepiness was related to dissociation. Ativan tends to make me more alert during the day.
I keep hearing this. I feel sleepy so often, and never thought it was related. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So tomorrow I will be reviewing and typing up the testimony I have to give. the mother, the father, the stepmother, the two attorneys that I will probably have to talk to in the future, the guardian ad litem, one or more of my supervisors and colleagues.. I just love doing child welfare work. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one on the kids’ side. People demand judgments that I don’t always feel qualified to make. Attorneys present courtroom strategies that may be good for winning the case, but not for kids to hear. Sometimes I just want to shake the so-called adults and tell them to put the kids first. Well, that sort of got out of control.
No, that’s ok. I knew that you didn legal work but forgot what it was for, that is awesome that you’ve found a way to work for what you care about. I don’t understand adults who don’t understand that it’s important to not hurt kids. I think maybe they don’t know any better, maybe they do just need to be shaken and have it explained to them. Hugs and Kisses to those who would like some, In Peace and Love, Nandina
Response:
Hi, Nandina, Hope your case goes well. I am off work right now, because of my DID stuff getting in the way. I am a teacher, and know exactly what you mean about wanting to shake parents who dam*ge their children. I have no patience for them anymore, and can’t deal with the huge number of ab*sed kidlets in my school. I was finding it very triggery. I hope to go back later. I’m newly dxed and starting to understand this DID existence. Meanwhile, I guess my t doesn’t want me shaking parents !!! Jane – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi SierraDevn, It does sound like you are having a really tough time right now. Still, I’m envious because my t canceled on account of the snowstorm. I’m feeling sad– it’ll be three whole weeks between visits if it doesn’t snow next Saturday. She offers a phone session, but talking to a telephone just isn’t the same. We are in VA and WV. These semi-southern states do not handle the bad weather like northern states where I grew up. States don’t budget enough for snow removal and drivers don’t know how to handle slippery roads. Also, too many hills. When I was in crisis, my t would suggest extra sessions. I tried it a couple times, but it didn’t seem helpful enough to budget twice as much money for it in one month. Like you, I sometimes need the rest of a therapy day to process what has been going on. I prefer to see my t on Friday or Saturday for that reason. It can make the work week a lot tougher if therapy keeps things more stirred up. Please take good care of yourself. I hope andregide and any others who have been triggered here are also practicing good self care. You are all such dear, caring, life-affirming people. I wish you were all a part of my family. The one I had didn’t care about me. They threw me away because I was too "crazy" for them. Better to be crazy and true to oneself, than abandon oneself and be nothing at all. I truly believe it will be better tomorrow. Waves to those who will be up all night, I gotta get some sleep. Have to go to court on behalf of a child on Monday. Feeling pretty scared about that. It will be my first time, probably not my last. I know my stuff, but worry about dissociation under pressure. Will be taking one or more Ativan beforehand. I used to worry that they would put me to sleep, but it turns out that sleepiness was related to dissociation. Ativan tends to make me more alert during the day. So tomorrow I will be reviewing and typing up the testimony I have to give. the mother, the father, the stepmother, the two attorneys that I will probably have to talk to in the future, the guardian ad litem, one or more of my supervisors and colleagues.. I just love doing child welfare work. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one on the kids’ side. People demand judgments that I don’t always feel qualified to make. Attorneys present courtroom strategies that may be good for winning the case, but not for kids to hear. Sometimes I just want to shake the so-called adults and tell them to put the kids first. Well, that sort of got out of control. Hugs and Kisses to those who would like some, In Peace and Love, Nandina Got back from my session about an hour ago and i’m still crying. I cried the whole time i was there, cried all the way home (2 hr trip – yuck) and even now. I know it has to eventually stop. I’m tired, cold, shakey and down right fed up. I had alot to tell my t’pst, only got a portion of it said, but the most import was discussed. I felt she understood. I do like her style, i feel pretty bl*ssed to finally have a t’pst that knows whats going on. She wants me to double up on sessions for a while. Not that i’m resistant to that but i h*te the financial burden. I resent having to pay to fix a problem that was ultimately caused by my p*rents and their so called friends. I’m tired of always paying the price be it physically, sp*rit*ally, emotionally and financially. Just down right sick of it. Wish i could make the p*rps pay for all the pyschological repairs. Well anyway, i will be going twice as often. I know its the right thing to do now in this time of my tx. It always takes me so long to get myself together after a session. so if i’m doing twice as many how will i be functional to work so i can make money to support myself and the therapy. Between a rock and a hard place. Cuz if i dont go to therapy then i’m not functional at all, i go so much i’m not very functional either.. ! SierraDevn * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "no one has the power to own another human" Lionheart
Response:
Hi, Sierradevn Sorry things are so hard right now. I travel to see my t too, and usually either cry or sleepdrive all the way home. He makes me sit for a while in the waiting room until the one who can drive takes over. Guess he doesn’t trust the three year old with the car keys! It stinks that we are paying the price for others’ deeds. I wish I knew another way. sometimes it takes me three days to feel back to whatever self it is that I recognize as me. :( Someone suggested drinking lots of water. Do you find it helps? I am going to try it. Usually I need to go to sleep after I get home. It is the only way I can seem to get grounded again. I really h*te that you feel all these things too. Nobody should have to . Hugs if they will help, from Jane "no one has the power to own another human" Lionheart – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Got back from my session about an hour ago and i’m still crying. I cried the whole time i was there, cried all the way home (2 hr trip – yuck) and even now. I know it has to eventually stop. I’m tired, cold, shakey and down right fed up. I had alot to tell my t’pst, only got a portion of it said, but the most import was discussed. I felt she understood. I do like her style, i feel pretty bl*ssed to finally have a t’pst that knows whats going on. She wants me to double up on sessions for a while. Not that i’m resistant to that but i h*te the financial burden. I resent having to pay to fix a problem that was ultimately caused by my p*rents and their so called friends. I’m tired of always paying the price be it physically, sp*rit*ally, emotionally and financially. Just down right sick of it. Wish i could make the p*rps pay for all the pyschological repairs. Well anyway, i will be going twice as often. I know its the right thing to do now in this time of my tx. It always takes me so long to get myself together after a session. so if i’m doing twice as many how will i be functional to work so i can make money to support myself and the therapy. Between a rock and a hard place. Cuz if i dont go to therapy then i’m not functional at all, i go so much i’m not very functional either.. ! SierraDevn * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "no one has the power to own another human" Lionheart
Response:
Dear Sierra, I just read this post of Jan 2. So sorry I didn’t know what was going on with you back then. Will quote the post so you know which one I read but you don’t have to re-read it. I’m not going to say any more except I hope it’s not too late to say how sorry I am that you were having such a hard time while you were giving me so much support. Hope you are doing better now. alc – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Got back from my session about an hour ago and i’m still crying. I cried the whole time i was there, cried all the way home (2 hr trip – yuck) and even now. I know it has to eventually stop. I’m tired, cold, shakey and down right fed up. I had alot to tell my t’pst, only got a portion of it said, but the most import was discussed. I felt she understood. I do like her style, i feel pretty bl*ssed to finally have a t’pst that knows whats going on. She wants me to double up on sessions for a while. Not that i’m resistant to that but i h*te the financial burden. I resent having to pay to fix a problem that was ultimately caused by my p*rents and their so called friends. I’m tired of always paying the price be it physically, sp*rit*ally, emotionally and financially. Just down right sick of it. Wish i could make the p*rps pay for all the pyschological repairs. Well anyway, i will be going twice as often. I know its the right thing to do now in this time of my tx.
It always takes me so long to get myself together after a session. so if i’m doing twice as many how will i be functional to work so i can make money to support myself and the therapy. Between a rock and a hard place. Cuz if i dont go to therapy then i’m not functional at all, i go so much i’m not very functional either.. ! SierraDevn
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